SCAB - WRITTEN BY MUTLEY OF RELAY HERES MUTLAME (HO HO HO HO) HIMSELF!!!QUIT READING THE BLOODY TEXT PRINTER AND LOOK AT THIS!!! THIS IS THE SCROLLER FOR SCAB, BY MUTLEY. HOPEFULLY FINISHED ON SUNDAY THE 14TH OF.. ERR... APRIL I THINK. I SAY HOPEFULLY AS IT IS NOT YET FINISHED, AND SO AFTER I FINISH THIS SCROLLER THEN I WILL GO BACK TO IT. WITH ANY LUCK YOU SHOULD BE HEARING THE RESULTS RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT. AS THERE IS SOD ALL ELSE TO WRITE, I WILL DO THE INEVITABLE GREETINGS. BUT STAY TUNED, YOU MAY GET A MENTION, EVEN IF YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD OF ME BEFORE (YOU PROBABLY KNEW ME IN A PAST LIFE OR SOME SUCH CRAP.) HERE WE GO... THE 1991 FULLY COMPREHENSIVE INDEX LINKED GREETINGS LIST (SPONSERED BY POWERGEN) READS: GREETINGS TO.... ALL OF RELAY, ESPECIALLY INDEX AND HOUND, AS THEY ARE THE ONLY TWO WHO HAVE BOTHERED THEIR ARSES TO WRITE TO ME. A BIG HI ALSO TO THE NEW MEMBERS, WHO CAME FROM A CREW OF WHICH THE NAME ELUDES ME. WELCOME TO THE FOLD ANYWAY... NEXT I MUST GREET DOCTOR AWESOME OF CRUSADERS, AS HIS MUSIC IS RUNNING IN THE BACKGROUND ON INTUITRACKER. WHO ELSE NOW..... OH YEAH, SPOOK, NUMBER 5 AND DEXTROUS OF MAG. FIELDS FOR BEING ENGLISH, THE GOOD MEMBERS OF ANARCHY (IE. MYSTIC, 4-MAT, MEDIATOR, DEL) FOR BEING PRETTY BLOODY BRILLIANT AT WHAT THEY DO. THE SAME GOES FOR ALL THESE GUYS... FRENZY OF MF, HEATBEAT OF REBELS, BRUNO OF ANARCHY, GOLEM OF ANARCHY, ANZ OF MF, FUTURE FREAK OF DEXION, PROTON OF COMPLEX (SCOOPEX?), PHANTOM LORD OF ANIMATORS, BEAST OF NETWORK, SCORCH, HAVOK, SLASHER OF NO LIMITS, GLIDE OF CRYPTIC UK, NOMAD OF CRYSTAL, MIKE OF QUARTEX, TURBO SLUG OF MF, BERNARD OF RELAY, KLG OF SOC BRIGADE, SECTOR 9 OF RAZOR 1911, NOSFERATU OF RAZOR, RICO HOLMES, ROGUE MALE OF ECSTACY, XAG OF BETRAYAL, HEATSEEKER OF CRYPTOBURNERS, FLESHBRAIN OF CRUSADERS, KERNI OF MF, MAGIC MUSHROOM OF CRACK, TIMMY OF PUSSY, NUKE OF HAVOC PLC., ALTER EGO OF BETRAYAL, HOBBIT OF FLASH PRODUCTIONS.... THAT WILL PROBABLY DO NOW AS YOU ARE ALL BORED OUT OF YOUR PLANKS. I HAVE CHANGED THE BACKGROUND TUNE TO A GREAT CHIP THING BY DOOR-MAT OF LAMERCHY.... OOPS... SORRY.... 4-MAT OF ANARCHY. I THINK, CHILDREN, IT IS BACK TO GREETINGS LIST PLC. KICKING OFF THE SECOND HALF WITH A BIG HELLO TO ALL THE SAE BLOKES WHO TRASHED COMRADE J.S HOUSE WHEN WE STAYED THERE WAY BACK AT THE LAST PC SHOW. SORRY ABOUT THE SPECTRUM, COM ME AULD MATE. SO TO RECAP, THAT IS A HI TO MANTRA, PHIL (MY MOUTH), EMMA THE SAD DIGGER, BOSH AND GOD ONLY KNOWS WHO ELSE. A 14 INCH GREET TO ALL OF ANTHROX, FOR BEING A DAMN FINE CREW, AND MAKING ONE OF THE BEST DEMOS EVER (IN MY PISSY OPINION), BOBBY DA BOL. THE TUNE IN THE BACKGROUND NOW IS PROMISES BY GOOD OLD 4-SKIN. THAT REMINDS ME, A GREET TO MORPH OF DUAL CREW FOR GIVING ME THE DISK WITH THAT TUNE ON IT, AS WELL AS ZAK OF D-MOBS SHEEP ANIM. I AM GETTING REALLY BORED OF TEXT NOW SO I WILL THE CODER OF THIS, DOPE, HAVE A WORD. YOU WILL NOT UNDERSTAND A FRIGGING WORD OF IT OF COURSE, AS, AS HE SAYS, HE IS STONED OUT OF HIS PUSS... ROLL IT DOPE.... THANKS FOR THE GREET MUTLEY (NOT MUCH FRIGGIN' HOPE IN THAT!!) GO AND ROLL A JOINT AND LET ME WRITE SOMETHING INTO THIS MACHINE...... I WOULD GUESS WHAT I WRITE WILL TURN OUT TO BE UTTERBULLSHIT, SO ANYWAY LETS KICK OFF........ THE TIME IS ALMOST MIDNIGHT ON A MONDAY NIGHT, I HAVE JUST COME HOME FROM WORK AND I AM SLIGHTLY STONED, AND A LITTLE DRUNK, COZ WE HAD A POWERCUT AND WE ALL FINISHED EARLY!! SO WE ALL SAT ROUND THE TABLE, LISA (HUGE TITS BY THE WAY) GOT IN A ROUND OF DRINKS FOR US ALL, AND IAN ROLLED UP A JOINT (THE FIRST OF MANY). ANYWAY, WE WERE ALL SITTING DRINKING AND SMOKING QUITE HAPPILY, IN CANDLELIGHT COZ OF THE POWERCUT, AND THE DOOR OPENED!! EVERYBODY SHAT THEMSELVES, IAN RAN THROUGH THE BACK WITH THE JOINT, AND FRANTICALLY TRIED TO PUT IT OUT!! THEN WALKING THROUGH THE DOOR CAME PHIL, WHAT A FUCKING RELIEF IT WAS!! IAN CAME BACK, AND WE SMOKED WHAT WAS LEFT OF THAT JOINT AND I ROLLED ONE UP, ON MY MACHINE OF COURSE, AND WE ALL SMOKED THAT ONE..... THIS WENT ON FOR ABOUT 5 JOINTS, AND THEN IAN DECIDED WE SHOULD ALL GO HOME, JUST BECAUSE HE WANTED TO GO AND SCREW HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND!! SO THAT WAS MY EXCITING NIGHT AT WORK!!!! I THEN CAME HOME, READ MUTLEYS TEXT, LOOKED AT THE GRAPHICS, AND STARTED WRITING....... WELL THANKS FOR THAT DOPE. SO NOW YOU KNOW, IF YOU ARE EVER STUCK IN ST. ANDREWS ON A MONDAY NIGHT IN A POWERCUT, JUST FOLLOW THE SMELL OF TOKE... AS THERE IS BUGGER ALL ELSE TO WRITE, I (MUTLEY) THINK I WILL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY (SATURDAY). ME, DOPE AND A PSYCHO CALLED CHARLIE THE CAT WENT ON THE STANDARD ALCOHOL HUNT. THE USUAL CROWD (IE. SWAN, SNIFFER, CRAIG THE BIKER ETC.) WERE ALL MISSING DUE TO FINANCIAL CRISIS, SO THERE WAS ONLY THREE OF US. FIRST WE WANDERED UP TO THE LOCAL SPAR, BUT SHOCK HORROR, NO BUCKFAST! NO PROBLEM, WE THOUGHT. WE WILL GO TO THE SAFEWAYS ROUND THE CORNER. AS IT TURNED OUT, THAT WAS BLOODY CLOSED. IN DESPERATION, WE WENT BACK TO THE SPAR AND GOT A BOTTLE OF SCRUMPY PISS EACH. SO THERE WE WERE, LOOKING LIKE RIGHT LITTLE PRE-PUBECENT GIRLIES WITH OUR BOTTLE OF CIDER EACH. STILL, WE DRUNK THAT AND HEADED OFF TO THE PUBS. WE FIRST WENT DOWN TO MA BELLES (A SHITEHOLE) BUT FOUND THAT THERE WAS A CROWD OUTSIDE THE DOOR WAITING TO GET IN. BY THIS TIME WE HAD SOME SERIOUS ALCOHOL DEFICIENCY PROBLEMS, SO WE WENT TO THE NEXT NEAREST PLACE, THE TUDOR (A STUDENT PUB). TO START, WE HAD A SNAKEBITE EACH, BUT WHEN I WAS GETTING IN THE NEXT ROUND (JACK DANIELS) CHARLIE THE CAT GOES AND GIVES AWAY THE LAST OF MY FRIGGING SNAKEBITE TO SOME SKATEBOARD TOSSER. BLOODY BRILLIANT I MUST SAY. AFTER THE JACK DANIELS, WE WENT TO SOMEWHERE REASONABLE, O HENRYS (OVER 21S ONLY (WE ARE ALL 16...)) PADDY (SURPRISINGLY ENOUGH, HE IS IRISH) WAS DOING THE DISCO SO DOPE AND C.T.C WENT OVER TO TALK TO HIM WHILE I GOT IN THE NEXT ROUND (HAVE YOU SPOTTED A PROBLEM WITH WHO IS BUYING THE ROUNDS YET...(HAVE YOU SPOTTED WHO PAYED FOR A FARE PERCENTAGE OF THEM THE WEEK BEFORE - DOPE)). BUT THEN WE WAITED ABOUT HALF AN HOUR IN THERE AND THE ONLY SEATS WE COULD GET WERE JUST OUTSIDE THE MAIN AREA AND BUGGER ALL WAS HAPPENING. NONE OF US WAS DRUNK ENOUGH TO DO ANYTHING ARSELIKE (UNLIKE THE WEEK BEFORE, AND THE WEEK BEFORE THAT) SO AFTER A ROLLING ROCK EACH WE PISSED OFF DOWN TO MA BELLES AGAIN TO SEE IF IT HAD QUIETENED DOWN YET. IT HAD NOT, SO WE WENT UP TO ANOTHER OLD MANS PUB, WHOSE NAME ESCAPES ME. C.T.C WAS BEGINNING TO FEEL THE EFFECTS OF THE DRINK A BIT, SO HE DECIDED TO TEAR OUT A FEW FLOWERS FROM SOMEBODYS HOUSE AND POST THEM THROUGH THE LETTERBOX. WHAT A SAD BASTARD. HE PUB WE WERE GOING TO WAS FULL OF STUDENTS SO WE PISSED OFF TO THE PIZZA SHOP. AFTER MEETING THE USUAL TOWN CROWD (THE ST. ANDREWS SLAGS, THE TAYPORT SINGLE-BRAINCELL CREW) I HAD A SHITTY PIZZA THEN FUCKED OFF HOME BECAUSE I WAS BORED AND SOBER. HIS WAS POSSIBLY THE WORST NIGHT OF THE HOLIDAYS, AND EVEN ANY ATTEMPTS TO SKIN UP FAILED (DESPITE ME SHELLING OUT FOR 20 TABS). COMPARED TO THE NIGHTS PREVIOUS (THE SATURDAY WHEN I HAD THE URGE TO DO A BIT OF DANCING IN THE MIDDLE OF O HENRYS, THE SINGALONGA WEDNESDAY WHEN WE ALL GO BLASTED AND TRIED TO SING THE CLASH IN THE CORNER OF MA BELLES, THE SATURDAY WHEN DOPE DECIDED TO HAVE AN TYRE-PUMP FIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OFA TEXACO GARAGE AT 2.30 AM. THE SATURDAY WHEN.... YOU GET THE IDEA) IT WAS REALLY SHIT AND BORING. SO, IN CONCLUSION TO THIS VERY LONG AND BORING STORY, I AM CALLING FOR THE WHOLE OF THE WESTERN WORLD TO BOYCOTT THE SPAR UNTIL THEY HAVE SUFFICIENT AMOUNTS OF BUCKFAST IN STOCK FOR ME TO GET MINCED AND MAKE A COMPLETE TOOL OF MYSELF. ON THAT NOTE I END THIS VERY BORING AND TEDIOUS SCROLLER. SEE YOU ALL AT THE MF 3RD PARTY.... BYE! ITS THE PRAW JOKE COPYRIGHT (C) 1991 MUTWANK ENTERPRISES.... ITS A PRAW!!!! HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! HORSEWANK........
